Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also, beer. Big fan.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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