remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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