she was so not down for the gang bang
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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