p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
