Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
