Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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