i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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