You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
