you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
