Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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