I wish I could teleport
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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