She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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