Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
