He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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