She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
