sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
