My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
