so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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