I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
