Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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