soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
birth control should be required to get into college
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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