just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
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I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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