if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize