I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
