alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
