I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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