Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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