you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
