It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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