dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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