It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize