does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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