a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just googled if crying burns calories
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize