Kiss
Puke
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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