I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize