so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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