Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
As shirtless as possible
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
