I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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