its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
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At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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