One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
