he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
