So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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