Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A bitchslap is in order.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
