Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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