better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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