Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Still dying that you shit outside
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
