Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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