Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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