I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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