i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
