I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
