WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
