i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
