We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
