So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
