You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
