watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
