I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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