belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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