I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
